Why Jen and Andrew believe more foster carers should consider teenagers
For more than 25 years, foster carers Jen and Andrew have opened their home and heart to children and young people of all ages but some of their most rewarding experiences have come from caring for teenagers.
Jen and Andrew first began fostering after seeing a television programme about fostering when their own son was just two years old.
“We loved being parents and felt we might be able to help other children too,” says Jen. “So, we applied to become foster carers.”
Initially, the family hoped to care for younger children but, as their own children grew older, so did their willingness to care for older children. Over the years, they have cared for children of all ages, including young people who remained part of their family for around ten years and grew into adulthood in their care.
Breaking the myths about fostering teenagers
When people think about fostering teenagers, they often focus on the challenges. Jen admits that teenagers can bring complexities and difficult experiences with them but she believes there is so much more to the story.
“They are just teenagers,” she says. “They can be funny, interesting, challenging, thoughtful and resilient. You learn so much from them, whether it’s keeping up with the latest trends, technology or simply seeing the world from a different perspective.”
Jen enjoys the greater independence that often comes with caring for teenager. As trust develops, teenagers are often able to spend time with friends, build their own interests and gradually gain confidence and independence within a supportive home environment.
Creating stability when it matters most
Many teenagers entering foster care have experienced significant upheaval. Some may have moved between homes, while others come into care later in childhood.
“Young people need consistency, patience and understanding,” explains Jen. “Boundaries are important because they help young people feel safe, even if they don’t always admit it.”
She believes successful fostering is about being flexible, choosing your battles carefully and giving relationships time to develop.
“You need patience and resilience but every young person is different. Sometimes the conversation you need to have can’t happen straight away. Sometimes you need to wait until they’re ready.”
The moments that make it worthwhile
After more than two decades of fostering, Jen says the greatest reward is seeing young people overcome challenges and begin to believe in themselves.
“The biggest highlight is watching a young person grow in confidence and self-esteem,” she says. “When they come to you for support because they know you’re there for them, that’s incredibly rewarding.”
While there have been difficult moments, Jen views every experience as part of her learning journey as a foster carer.
“You won’t get everything right all the time and that’s okay. What’s important is being there, learning and continuing to support young people when they need you most.”
Support every step of the way
Jen highlights the importance of the support available to foster carers, including social workers, training opportunities, support groups and fellow carers.
“Support groups are a great way to meet other foster carers, share experiences and learn from each other. The training available is excellent and helps you build your skills and confidence.”
She also values the strong network of family, friends and fellow foster carers who understand the realities of fostering and are there during both the highs and the lows.
Jen’s message to anyone considering fostering a teenager
“If you’re thinking about fostering, take that first step and make contact. The hardest part is often getting started. You don’t know if fostering is for you unless you try.”
And for those specifically considering teenagers?
“Fostering teenagers can be challenging but it can also be incredibly rewarding. If you feel you could offer a teenager the care, stability and support they need, go for it. You may never look back.”
Could you help change a teenager’s future? Contact Foster Wales Torfaen today to find out more about becoming a foster carer.
