Hi there,
We’re Helen and Gary and we’ve been fostering with our Local Authority for nearly a decade now! Our journey started with a kinship carer assessment (we weren’t needed then), but when we switched to mainstream fostering, we knew this was what we were meant to do. Over the years, we’ve cared for lots of children and, these days, our home is shared with two fantastic teenage boys.
We’ve always believed we had something special to offer kids who needed a bit of extra love and support. Between us, we’ve raised a big family and helped with all our grandkids, so we’ve gathered plenty of life experience. We’ve seen all sorts—parenting through tough moments like drug use, homelessness and social services involvement—but honestly, very little can surprise us at this point! We’re easy-going but our house is strictly drug-free and we make sure everyone knows and is comfortable with our house rules. That’s key for a happy home.
We chose to foster teenagers because, quite simply, they fit in with our lifestyle and our own family. We don’t have to worry about things like school runs or changing nappies and we can keep working alongside caring, which keeps our routine ticking along nicely. We love a bit of banter and find humour a great way to connect; teens might be shy at first but a joke or two usually breaks the ice. When they start joking back, you know you’re getting somewhere!
Of course, placements don’t always come with lots of planning—sometimes, life throws you an emergency placement and you learn on your feet but that’s part of the adventure.
What really gets to us is how teens are often lumped together as ‘troubled’ and not seen for the individuals they are. It’s a shame, really, because with a stable home, consistency and love, they thrive. Teenagers need boundaries, routines and most of all trust—they’re not all difficult! They keep us young, even if we’re not the most tech-savvy (our own kids and grandkids have that covered). Breaking down their walls can take time, especially if they’ve been let down before but, if you stick with it and keep showing up, they’ll let you in—and it’s worth every bit of effort.
Honestly, fostering teens gives us the biggest rewards. Watching them grow, make better choices and succeed because they feel safe and supported is amazing. We’ve had children come to us set on paths that worried us and they’ve gone on to do brilliantly. There’s nothing quite like seeing a young person you’ve helped start to flourish.
It’s especially wonderful when you get to know their families and, sometimes, help them return home. We’ve supported lots of kids back to their birth families and many of those relationships continue. It’s a journey and, most of the time, it’s a joy to watch.
Matching is important, especially when you have other young people living with you. We always chat with them about any new arrivals and make sure everyone is on board—their opinions matter just as much as ours.
Our house is lively—kids and grandkids of all ages popping in and out and every child who has lived with us becomes part of our extended family. Our own family is brilliant about fostering, understanding what we do and how much it matters. They’re warm, welcoming and always kind to our young people.
If you’re thinking about fostering teens, we’d say go for it—they’ll surprise you, keep you laughing and show you the incredible difference you can make in someone’s life.
https://torfaen.fosterwales.gov.wales
Email: [email protected]
Tel: 01495 766669
Choosing Foster Wales Torfaen, is a decision to help children stay local and maintain important bonds. As a local team, we put children at the heart of everything we do.
